University of Nigeria

Subliminal Seduction 400

Retail Management 604

Biotechnology The Easy Way 101

The following is a sample of our most popular courses.  A complete course guide is sent to all enrolled students.

Macro Economics 101          ( CRN: 85623 )

Learn how to leverage your success with the economy of scale that mass email marketing provides.  Sending email offers one at a time is useless and a waste of your time.  If you send one stupid email offer to millions and millions of people, you exert the same amount of energy and greatly increase the chance that someone will respond to your offer.

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Urban Planning - The New Art of Structural Design 405        ( CRN: 52674 )

Some residents have noticed the collapsing of buildings from time to time as they walk through the bustling streets of Abuja.  This is due to our new and innovative structural design methodologies.  We have perfected a methodology that enables us to construct multi-level dwellings and complexes that have no foundation or bearing walls.  It's fascinating and certain to make the world double-think about the way they currently design buildings.

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Texan Hickbilly Business Strategies 302          ( CRN: 95834 )

We got a lot of them coming and going.  With the price of oil and gasoline soaring in the United States, we now have more Texan oil diggers coming to Abuja than Texas has living in their own state.  Once viewed as a threat to our economy and ways, we can now teach how to harness your energies to overpower these overweight Texan millionaires.  From the classic gang jump to other less obvious tactics, you will quickly learn how to maintain a competitive advantage over these folks.

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Power To The People 120          ( CRN: 92625 )

It don't matter whether you are a white man, black man, or even a Chinese man.  Power To The People will educate you on how this great territory has built a massive power infrastructure to power the nation's e-commerce that The University of Nigeria relies on and is so famously known for around the world.  Duplicate this power structure, and some day you might be running your own lush land of prosperous ways, just like the leaders of our blessed Nigeria.

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History and World Events 400          ( CRN: 25364 )

Many years ago, the United States started a special group to help encourage the growth of the Nigerian economy.  It was  called ARPANET and is the foundation for the Internet and our current economic prosperity.  This course will teach you how the United States provided us with direct links to millions of wealthy and gullible households who assisted us in funneling millions of dollars back to our home country.  They are a great people and we will never forget that.

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Accounting 419          ( CRN: 38821 )

This course teaches how to leverage yourself against the American banking system.  Simply write a check for at least $40,000 to an American and wait for them to deposit it.  (Don't worry you don't need to have that much in the bank).  Next, say the following...  "Ooops, sorry Mr/Ms American.  I made a mistake and sent you twice as much money."  The silly American will wait until their bank says the check clears, and then will happily remit $20,000 to you.  A few weeks later, your American friend will realize the check actually bounced.  This always bewilders those silly people.  They always looked so dazed and confused when their banks tell them the money is there...but then it isn't.  Anywho, it is not our worry.  We got the money for you.  Now go have some fun.  Take Ebay Strategies with this course for more profits.

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Statistical Psychology 200          ( CRN: 69735 )

Research has proven that .001 percent of the world population is completely stupid, ignorant to the world around them, and will believe anything.  Using this information, you will learn how to launch a mass email to 100 million people around the world and use basic psychology skills to get .001 percent of the sample group to send you money.  If for example, you ask them to send you $10,000 each, .001 percent will do so and yield you a $1,000,000,000 return on your investment!  (Prerequisite:  Macro Economics 101 & History and World Events 400)

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Fishing 100          ( CRN: 44683 )

This course will teach you the skills and techniques of effective bait and switch programs.  The most profitable of these is advertising that people can make millions of dollars by helping you transfer money to their country.  We will teach you how to hook them with this technique and then change the offer so they actually end up paying you.  We have also added a new section to this course that teaches you how to liquidate your customer's bank account in the event they don't accept your baited offer.  Either way, we can now guarantee your success.

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PhotoShop 200          ( CRN: 92673 )

Once you have learned the successful skills of mass email marketing, it will be necessary to learn how to provide forged documentation to your clients for your entertainment purposes.  This course will teach you how to scan passports into PhotoShop, change the picture ID, and alter any written information using the smudge tool and type over effects.  You will also have a complimentary five year subscription to www.aNewIdentity.com in which you may assume other people's identities.  (We recommend selecting rich people so you may seize their financial assets.)

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Ebay Buying Strategies 419          ( CRN: 92456 )

If Ebay is going to claim it is the world's marketplace for everything bought and sold, don't you think you should be there too?  Any American idiot can make money by selling something on Ebay.  But it takes a graduate from the University of Nigeria to know how to make money, NOT by SELLING, but by BUYING.  Yes, this program teaches you how to make instant money with each purchase you make on Ebay.  Thanks to the numerous loop-holes in the American banking system our graduates have obtained cars, trucks, property, expensive equipment and even cash for absolutely nothing!  Have you ever saw something on Ebay you wanted?  Take this course and we will show you how to get it for free.

 

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